It is now officially day 4 that I've been home and at midnight tonight I will be one week away from beginning my six week road trip known as stem cell. Life is good here in limbo, at this moment. I must admit though at times you wonder if you're in limbo or stuck in purgatory but then you realize you're still alive so it can't be purgatory and depending on the amount of stool softner you've had in the last 48 hours you might as well be in hell on earth but the moment passes, all be it painful, but it passes none the less.
I should have prefaced the squeamish may not want to read what I have to say because I plan on being pretty blunt throughout this blog. With any medical condition your dignity goes right out the door with life as you know it when you hear the words, "You have cancer." So if you're squeamish, close one eye as you read and think of this as best education experience you'll ever get regarding the big c. (For I hope it is the closest anyone a part of my life every comes to it.)
Today was a good day. I'm finding myself to perk up between the evening hours; maybe its because I've always been a night owl. Jolly Ranchers are my new best friend. I'd like to buy a bunch of the peach ones; I only got two in the bag that I found at the grocery store. I remember when that's all you'd find in those bags. I'm down with the peach, orange, cherry, apple, and the occassional watermelon. Quite frankly if it were up to me I'd like to write to Mr. Jolly Rancher Maker and say,
Dear Mr. Jolly Rancher Maker,
You make a magnificent product. As a person fighting cancer for the last year, I'm wondering if you could come out with a cancer line; you know a little something that allows those of us with chemo cravings to pick and choose our own bag. I would be more then happy to be your guinea pig. Please send all of your peach, orange, cherry, and apple jolly ranchers to the enclosed address.
PS. If you could throw in a few sour ones it'd be greatly appreciated as well. Thanks again for keeping my salivary glands in working order.
PPS. No offense but the Jolly Rancher Smoothies are disgusting; save yourself some marketing dollars and nix those suckers.
Maybe not quite so blunt; I may have to butter them up a little more but you get the gist. I think I'm enjoying the Jolly Rancher cause it keeps my mouth moist, which helps me to avoid the dreaded mouth sores associated with chemo.
I've decided to enjoy this week as much as I can. My brother comes home on Friday (flies in at Midnight in Mnpls; Aaron can I just say you should stick to design and not seek out being a travel agent?). I'm excited to see him and hang out. It will be a good visit.
I've decided to rock my hair as is this time. I refrained from having Jeff shave it on Sunday. Today I've lint rolled my pillow and bed about five times. Can I just say I heart lint rollers? I'm totally in shock at how fast it is falling out. I know I'm done with my two rounds of ICE but I've lost I would say over half of what has grown back since March; it was as though the texture changed overnight literally. It is most noticable by my ears but if you saw me in the grocery store it'd just be one of those double takes where you're thinking, "Did I just see a chick that's balding?" and then you'd go about locating your fig newtons (or peach jolly ranchers).
So I'm off to locate some peach jolly ranchers and try to wake up the pooch who has started a rythmic snoring that I must now interrupt.
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