Lymphoma-sodes: Standing Up to Cancer

09.22.2010

I can not believe it is nearly October. What happened to summer? Was there a memo from Mother Nature that I missed that we weren't easing back into this cold stuff? Don't get me wrong I'm not complaining, fall is actually my favorite season of the year, however when it is sprung upon me in the way it has been this year I've got to say it leaves me a bit shell shocked. I admit it; I miss the pool. I had an awful moment this week while I was getting ready for the day. As I was in the shower it dawned on me that it was only going to get colder from here on out. I love the beauty of winter it's the cold that I dislike so much. Enough of the weather (I sound like a newscast that shall remain nameless in southeastern Minnesota that relies on the weather to be their "top" story).

So here we are once again. I had my routine check up to refill my prescription yesterday. I'm going to put this out there. I absolutely love my doc. Dr. Habermann is this man who just oozes wisdom and tact. He is a man a part of a lost profession; a doctor from a time that saw patients as people with families and friends and a life they don't want to give up. I had to confess to him that although I absolutely adore him, every time I see him or even have to go to the tenth floor of the Gonda building all I want to do is run to the bathroom and vomit or let my body do what it needs to in order to cope with the horrific anxiety you have about any and all test results. His reply will give you an inkling as to why I think so highly of this man. His response to me is, "Kristin, quite frankly if you didn't have that reaction is when I would be concerned."

Yesterday was my routine blood draw to check my numbers and refill my wonder pills. My counts were good so I get to keep my reality until at least October 14th, when I'll have my next round of CT scans with results the same day. CT scans are worse then any other test because in my mind they can end everything I've come to appreciate that is around me and took for granted prior to my original diagnosis. It is hard to not let your mind get the best of you and even harder to talk yourself down from the anxiety demon that has taken up residence in the logical part of your brain. That is where the Lord comes into my life. It seems like I'm asking so much of him daily, but I keep asking. And thus far he keeps listening because my blood works comes back good and I feel great. Don't get me wrong; I'm not able to run on very little sleep like I use to be able to but as long as I've had a good nights sleep I'm pretty good to go.

So far things are good; I'm keeping those prayers just a rollin' and if you pray or meditate I ask you not only keep me in those actions but all those others this horrific disease has made itself known to. This month is Cancer awareness month (or maybe October, I can't remember anymore thanks to chemo brain, which is alive and thriving for me and to say it is frustrating is an understatement). It is my hope that one day soon we figure out not just what will cure the Big C in my body but the many others that affect millions out there.

Lymphoma-sodes: And the Beat Goes On

09/05/2010

Once again, time has gotten the best of me. I feel like Dorothy yet again; living in a whirlwind, watching things pass me by and all I'm doing is spinning in circles at a high speed. So to the meat and potatoes we will quickly move forward to...

I last left you knowing that my stem cell transplant had failed and thanks to a lack of bedside manner I was shopping around for a new hospital and doctor to call home. After three failed visits, it was the fourth and final to Dr. Armitage at the University of Nebraska Medical Center that my hope, faith, and determination was restored. With his guidance I am now seeing a new doctor, but still at the Mayo Clinic. Words do not even remotely describe the wonderfulness that is Dr. Habermann. I've learned that I can live with the Big C and better I can move forward. So where've I been moving you ask? LOTS of places.

After finding my new doc, I decided to enroll in a clinical trial for a drug called Everolimus. I take two little pills each morning, smaller then the nail bed on my pinkie finger. My first round I took for sixty days, or two cycles with scans in July to see if it was working. Sure enough, my little pills are doing the trick! Of the five (you got it FIVE) spots they have been watching, two had completely resolved themselves. Finite. Done. Gone. Hasta mañana banana. Great news, right? What's even better is the three remaining spots showed signs of (excuse the Seinfeld reference) shrinkage! So the good news is they're working. I pray every day that the Lord continues to intercede on my behalf and continue to keep these drugs working. They show great promise and I hope it's a promise I get to have fulfilled.

So now what? Life is a gift and I am grateful for every day. I have such a different perspective then I did yesterday and the day before that (and the day before that). I still struggle with the anxiety of going in for scans because for me I know that this, the daily life that is around me that I realize exactly how much I love so dearly, can be taken away from me at any moment. But alas, life moves forward. I have enrolled in my graduate program, a one year journey that will make me a teacher with a Master's level degree. What can I say? I'm in love with it. I'm in my element and am exactly where I am suppose to be; learning how to spread my cancerous joy onto the youth of America! Like I stated, the program is only a year so to say it is intense is an understatement, but each day I go there I experience something that makes me say, "THIS is what it's all about."

So remember, life is too short to not do what you love. If you can dream it, you can achieve it. Until next time....

Much Love,
Kristin

P.S. Yes that's the infamous Gus you see in the pic this time. It is his impersonation of Goose from Top Gun.