Today is January 2, 2012. I am alive.
I can't tell you the emotion I feel when I get to write that: I am alive.
I AM alive.
I AM ALIVE!
If I could shout it from the rooftops I would (but as it is January 2nd and winter has finally decided to arrive in Minnesota I think I'll take a big fat pass on that idea) but the sentiment is still there.
This time of year is usually a time of reflection and without a doubt I have been doing my own reflection, privately. It is has been and continues to be a difficult journey because I don't want my life to revolve around my disease but because I have a daily reminder in the form of two chemo pills that I absolutely, under no circumstances can not miss taking, being able to pretend I get to resume a "normal" life just isn't an option for me. It has been a long time coming but I can finally say, "I'm okay with that."
My time of reflection leads back on one path and that is to the Lord. It is truly astounding to me how this journey has given me the gift of Christ in my life. I don't pretend to know a whole lot about the Bible, but what I do know is this: without the Lord I would not be entering into 2012. To Him I simply say, "Thank You; thank you for the gift of your mercy and giving me time."
I am so unbelievably lucky to be here. If you are one that prays, I would ask of you to keep me in those prayers for His continued mercy and love. I begin this year with a scan and as always I am nervous (something I don't think will ever go away).
To my family and friends I thank you for your continued support throughout 2011. To those of you who do not know me but have shown me compassion and support through your ways not only do I thank you but may the Lord bless you as you have shown me what it truly means to be a person of compassion.
Happy 2012!
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